I've often wondered about bloggers. Wondered if their motivation to blog came solely from the desire to have others read their thoughts. It's a lot like making music; if my motivation to write songs came solely from a desire to have others listen, the music would most likely be garbage. 
I turned 23 yesterday. Woke up to over a hundred emails, texts and voice mails. A lot of people just wanted to wish me a happy birthday. Some wanted to know where I'd be, what I'd be doing, if I'd be dancing tango. I had a number of really nice offers odinner and lunch and cake and companionship but I just wanted to be alone. Celebration can be internal too. So much of my life is spent absorbed in celebration via external sources: Music, Dancing, Eating, Talking, and when I woke up yesterday I just wanted to retreat. I'd spent birthday's 20, 21, and 22 camping away from noise and stimulus with one or two close friends. To wake up to 23 with booming cell phone reception and wireless internet signal was a bit more than I've become used to. 19 was the first birthday I celebrated clean and sober since I'd started using at 16. I spent the day traveling, flying from Oregon to California. Traveling is isolation in a way too because nobody knows you. And so, to celebrate my fifth birthday since being clean and twenty third since being born I decided to hit the road. I was in Monterey locked up in an audio room recording and I packed up my stuff, took myself out to lunch (and a single scoop cone of rainbow sherbet) and started driving around 6PM. I watched the sunset and the stars come out as I drove the plain stretch of I-5 that I know so well. It was peaceful. I listened to my latest works that I'd created over the previous week, some just beats that I freestyled to (I tend to speed while I'm free-styling). At 12:01, the "official" end of my birthday, I saw the "Welcome To Oregon" Sign. I felt relieved to have been able to spend my birthday the way I wanted, without seeing anyone I knew or having to fulfill any expectations or standards on how I should choose to celebrate.